In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.

I think Dan [Rather] is transparently liberal. Now he may not like to hear me say that. I always agree with him, too. But I think he should be more careful.

You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?

Death is a distant rumor to the young.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

One of the sweetest things in life: a letter from a friend.