I've learned .... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?

There are more beauty parlors than there are beauties.

One of the things we can be sure of over the July 4th weekend is that news reports will keep telling us how many of us are going to die in automobile accidents.

Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.

My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.