One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

I've learned... that just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.

There's nothing people like better than being asked an easy question. For some reason, we're flattered when a stranger asks us where Maple Street is in our hometown and we can tell him.

You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning lousy hunter.

Did you ever notice that people who are good with a computer don't use it for much of anything except being good with a computer? They know all about information technology, but they don't have much interest in the information. I'm the opposite.