One of my major shortcomings - I'm vindictive. I don't know why that is. Even in petty things in my life I tend to strike back. It's a lot more pleasurable a sensation than feeling threatened.

Don't you hate it when...your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading "Confused.

I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

Person-to-person, most people are honest.