I obviously have a knack for getting on paper what a lot of people have thought and didn't realize they thought. And they say, 'Hey, yeah!' And they like that.

Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.

Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.

We're all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don't make any big ones.

American closets are filled with once-worn clothes that got a bad review from a friend on their first appearance.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.