The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.

If you do see me in a restaurant, please, just let me eat my dinner.

Why am I an atheist? I ask you: Why is anybody not an atheist? Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated. I resent anyone pushing their religion on me. I don't push my atheism on anybody else. Live and let live. Not many people practice that when it comes to religion.

New ideas are one of the most overrated concepts of our time. Most of the important ideas that we live with aren't new at all.

I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.

Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.