The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he's written that can't be read aloud easily.

It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

The fastest thing computers do is go obsolete.

My most serious character flaw is that I don't deny myself much.