In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.

I spent my first 50 years trying to become known as a writer and the next 30 trying to avoid being famous. I walk down the street or go to a football game and people shout, 'Hey Andy'. I hate that.

I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

One of the most glorious messes in the world is the mess created in the living room on Christmas day. Don't clean it up too quickly." ~ (1919-), American writer, producer, humorist.

I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.

We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

Dogs are nicer than people.