I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?

The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading "Confused.

The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Don't keep saying, "I don't know where the time goes." It goes the same place it's always gone and no one has ever known where that is.

I don't differentiate much, except in degree, between people who believe in religion from those who believe in astrology, magic or the supernatural.