The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

I've learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.

I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

In the United States alone, we spend seven times as much on war as on education. There's something wrong there. On this Memorial Day, we should certainly honor those who have died at war, but we should dedicate this day, not so much to their memory, but to the search for a way to end the idiocy of the wars that killed them.

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and read Shakespeare.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.