The federal government has sponsored research that has produced a tomato that is perfect in every respect, except that you can't eat it. We should make every effort to make sure this disease, often referred to as 'progress', doesn't spread.

I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

In a conversation, keep in mind that you're more interested in what you have to say than anyone else is.

If you put on an item of clothing that hurts just because you have an idea it looks better or conforms to what other people are wearing, it's dumb.

I've learned ... that no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned... that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.