Numbers are the most certain things we have.

I've learned... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is share the love.' Beep. 'Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.'

Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

Creativity is a by-product of hard work. If I never have another really new idea, it won't matter.

I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.