Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all, I only remember you for all the years you played an uppity slave on ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’.
Anthony JeselnikI will never understand how a mother can kill her own baby and not get away with it.
Anthony JeselnikThe driving force behind doing everything that I've been doing as a stand-up is having problems with authority and not liking to be told what to do.
Anthony JeselnikEvery night, my girlfriend comes home from work, and she brings with her a houseplant. She's like, 'Anthony, I had to pick this up. We need a houseplant in our apartment.' And every night, I make her return it. I say, 'No way, baby. You can't take care of a houseplant. You couldn't even keep your baby alive.'
Anthony Jeselnik