I'm really proud of the album. It's something I always wanted to do but I had to wait until I was ready. Shakespeare is a culmination of eight years of stand up experience and joke writing. I recorded two shows at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in New York. The crowds were great and that's what really makes an album.

I killed a squirrel once with a car. Twice with a tennis racket.

What do I care if someone doesn't like me. If I like someone other people hate, it makes me feel special. I think my fans feel that way.

Amy [Schumer] and I each have our cross to bear when it comes to tattoos. Amy and I are funny when we fight. It just keeps escalating until one of us starts laughing. Then it's over. I'm happy that we're friends.

The world is full of horrible things.

I'm actually a really nice guy, once you get to blow me.

I think my friends wife has been banging a black guy. Because they just had a baby. And the baby had a hole in it.