I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14.

Stereotypes wouldn't be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.

The driving force behind doing everything that I've been doing as a stand-up is having problems with authority and not liking to be told what to do.

I want to get a tattoo of the word irony, only misspelled.

Wayne Brady, I don’t understand why people keep joking that you’re not black. Wayne Brady, you are BLACK. After all, I only remember you for all the years you played an uppity slave on ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’.

I think some people just don't know that much about comedy. It would be like a person who didn't know anything about football thinking all offensive linemen are the same.

Childhood obesity affects all pedophiles.