Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade industry.

I don't want to wake up with cops surrounding my bed tonight.

I don't think people shouldn't try to be edgy, but you have to take what the audience says to you in consideration.

I was always cutting words. I even would write my jokes in my notebook. I still do this, almost like a poem.

About a month ago some kids in my neighborhood were playing hide-and-go-seek and one of them ended up in an abandoned refrigerator. It's all anybody talked about for weeks. I said, 'Who cares? How many kids you know get to die a winner?

I grew up in a poor family. I had to cut everyone's hair, because we didn't have money for entertainment.

I think the reason I became funny was because if I made people laugh, they would let me keep talking.