My ultimate goal is to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. And that keeps changing. I didn't want to host my own show until I wrote for someone else's.

I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird and people who are surprising and good at what they do.

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.

I never knew if I would get my own show, but I knew I loved stand-up.

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

I want to marry the kind of girl that walks out of an abortion clinic with a lollipop.

I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.