My first time on stage was the class "graduation" at the Comedy Store. It was awesome. Everything got huge laughs and I just thought I knew how to do comedy.

I guess I prefer the laughs. I couldn't do a whole set of just shocks, but I like throwing a fastball inside every now and then to keep people on their toes.

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

I’m not a religious person; I would call myself an atheist. I don’t have a good story behind it, I’m just reasonable.

I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.

Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade industry.

I don't get back as much as I'd like to, so I don't have a lot of close ties [Pittsburgh], but I'll bleed black and gold until I die.