One of my favorite things on the show was just getting to do my own monologue and talking about someone who killed themselves, or making a joke about some horrible tragedy - I love being able to fight for and get on TV. I just think it's so different.

I don't want to wake up with cops surrounding my bed tonight.

That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were upset.

In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to say it. It was almost like I had some brilliant novel in my head that I had to get down, and I would interrupt class all the time and get in trouble.

My ultimate goal is to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. And that keeps changing. I didn't want to host my own show until I wrote for someone else's.

I want to get a tattoo of the word irony, only misspelled.

Racist dermatologists think all black people have really bad skin.