I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt be the bad guy in the joke; he couldnt upset people, really.

You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby drowned in a tub... and you definitely don't know anything about how to wash a baby.

2010 has been awesome. I got to write on the David Hasselhoff Roast this summer, and that's always been a dream.

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.

In a late-night monologue, it's not just about being funny; you have to come off as knowledgeable. You have to cultivate a persona of trust and intelligence and likeability.

I killed a squirrel once with a car. Twice with a tennis racket.

I love Pittsburgh. Most of my family still lives there and I try to get back a couple of times a year.