The world is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about. Laughter is a universal way to lift your head up and say: 'Not today, you bastards.'

I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.

I had written for Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman in the past. Jimmy had a different voice, and different priorities. He couldnt be the bad guy in the joke; he couldnt upset people, really.

If I tell a joke on stage and the crowd laughs for a minute, I stand there for a minute and enjoy them laughing before I go on to the next joke. On TV, if I stand there for a minute while they laugh, I look like an idiot who can't remember the next joke.

Hitler really wasn't so bad. In the black way.

I think my friends wife has been banging a black guy. Because they just had a baby. And the baby had a hole in it.

I'm actually a really nice guy, once you get to blow me.