I never knew if I would get my own show, but I knew I loved stand-up.
My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.
Valentine's Day was created by the greeting card industry to get pussy.
I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.
Do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it
Hitler really wasn't so bad. In the black way.