2010 has been awesome. I got to write on the David Hasselhoff Roast this summer, and that's always been a dream.

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

I try to retire jokes as soon as I can once I put them on an album. But I can't think of anything I just stopped doing for no reason.

A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

I grew up in a poor family. I had to cut everyone's hair, because we didn't have money for entertainment.

My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell my friends I date you?