I come up with my jokes by thinking of a topic.

It's always difficult when someone close to you passes away. But it's really tough when they're on top of you.

I think my friend Jeff is gay. I don't know - I'm so bad with names.

Who do you think was smarter, Jesus or Buddha? I mean, just in terms of not letting themselves get crucified.

My girlfriend is despicable. I just found out she flirted with my brother, during my mom's funeral, while I was asleep.

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.

I always loved comedy, but it never seemed like something that I could do professionally.