I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird and people who are surprising and good at what they do.

Disgusting. I just found my grandpa's Viagra. I swear, I almost puked from eating so many.

I want to get a tattoo of the word irony, only misspelled.

The opposite of sad is down's syndrome.

Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or "My dad keeps losing his car keys." And then I just think of different ways the story could end. "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend." Then I try it out on stage. I don't do a lot of re-writing. My jokes either work or they don't. The trick is just to write a ton of jokes.

Mike Tyson, what can I say about you that hasn’t already been the title of a Richard Pryor album?

I don't have much racial stuff in my act. And no one's ever really threatened me to my face. Threats on the internet don't bother me so much.