I'm a comedian and there are a lot of things I'm still learning. I love one liners because I love smart jokes. I also don't like complaining about society or whining about my life on stage.

I never knew if I would get my own show, but I knew I loved stand-up.

2010 has been awesome. I got to write on the David Hasselhoff Roast this summer, and that's always been a dream.

My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person... so I can get a better girlfriend.

I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.

I would love to DJ the royal wedding. Just so I could play Candle in the Wind non-stop.

My mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.