Disasters are funny to me. As a comedian you learn from failure, so I'm always trying to put myself in a situation that does not seem ideal for my comedy and see how it works.
Anthony JeselnikIt's impossible for me to hear the words quadruple murder suicide without thinking of my grandparents.
Anthony JeselnikA couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, 'Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me.' And I said, 'If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.'
Anthony JeselnikI'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14.
Anthony Jeselnik