Stereotypes wouldn't be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.

I love Austin, but last time I was in town for twelve hours. I was exhausted, drunk and miserable. But none of that was Austin's fault.

I would write 100 jokes a day. Most of them were terrible. But I just said, 'I'll write more than everybody else, and that's how I'll get better.'

Jeff Ross has been roasting people since Whitney Cummings was nothing but a glint in the eye of the man who raped her mother.

The opposite of sad is down's syndrome.

I like the idea of being the funny guy in the dramatic thing, playing a hit man with a weird sense of humor.

I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.