Stereotypes wouldn't be so bad if black people were nicer, in general.

My mom's been having a hard time lately. She just found out that she has to have both of her breasts removed - if she's ever going to be good at golf.

Doctor just told me I can't have kids. I asked for a second opinion. He said, Why? No one's gonna to let you take kids from this hospital.

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend’s killer… but no one will do it.

I'm inspired by making people laugh at subjects that should make them cry.

I had a happy childhood in a nice suburban area, pretty idyllic, upper middle class and very, very white. My dad is an attorney. My mother is a housewife. They had five kids in seven years: me, my brother, and three sisters. I'm the oldest. We were all very active. My mother was exhausted.

I want to get a tattoo of the word irony, only misspelled.