Disgusting. I just found my grandpa's Viagra. I swear, I almost puked from eating so many.

When I die, I want to be cremated with everybody.

I was raised Catholic. I rejected it later on. I'm an outspoken atheist now. People say, 'Oh, it's a negative thing to be an atheist.' I don't agree. I think it's more optimistic to think that there is no God, no afterlife.

I had a happy childhood in a nice suburban area, pretty idyllic, upper middle class and very, very white. My dad is an attorney. My mother is a housewife. They had five kids in seven years: me, my brother, and three sisters. I'm the oldest. We were all very active. My mother was exhausted.

2010 has been awesome. I got to write on the David Hasselhoff Roast this summer, and that's always been a dream.

That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were upset.

My ultimate goal is to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. And that keeps changing. I didn't want to host my own show until I wrote for someone else's.