I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.
Anthony JeselnikI want to marry the kind of girl that walks out of an abortion clinic with a lollipop.
Anthony JeselnikKatey Sagal, you are an incredible actress. You worked on โMarried with Children,โ the show that changed comedy, โSons of Anarchy,โ the show that took comedy to a whole new level and โ8 Simple Rules,โ the show that killed John Ritter.
Anthony JeselnikMy mom, for most of her life, was a Holocaust denier. And it was terrible for the entire family to have to deal with until, finally, a couple years ago, we had an intervention. And we had a rabbi come into the home, had him walk her through the history of the Jewish people, and then he made her watch "Schindler's List." And after that, my mom did a complete 180. Now she can't believe it only happened once.
Anthony Jeselnik