It was important to me to be cool as a comedian. I didn't want to be a crowd-pleaser who sent out the vibe of, "I need you guys." I wanted to be so cool that the audience could leave and I would still be killing, that I didn't want to have to rely on them or need them. That really appealed to me.

Every comic went through their Mitch Hedberg phase - the glasses, the hair in the face - and you knew immediately when they were doing it.

My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.

I didn't care about the backlash. I think the reason it was so severe was because they didn't know anything about me in New Zealand. If I had made jokes about a shark attack in the US, no one would have cared.

I wish my family had taken more pictures when I was growing up. Instead of always having to draw everything.

I will never understand how a mother can kill her own baby and not get away with it.

I can drink like a fish, or at least, someone born with fetal alcohol syndrome.