The opposite of sad is down's syndrome.

In comedy, I hate that cop-out where you say, "Just kidding." I know you're just kidding. Don't insult my intelligence by spelling it out for me that much.

Amy [Schumer] and I each have our cross to bear when it comes to tattoos. Amy and I are funny when we fight. It just keeps escalating until one of us starts laughing. Then it's over. I'm happy that we're friends.

Dark humor appealed to me because it was a bigger laugh than you could get with anything else. Seeing people laugh at something inappropriate with their whole bodies, a guttural, visceral laugh beyond a mere "hah."

I don't have a type, really. But I've always been more attracted to girls who yell fire.

I like to read, but otherwise I'm just your average, self-obsessed comedian. It's pretty much all I think about.

Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.