I can drink like a fish, or at least, someone born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

God, that Anthony Jeselnik Show sounds really funny.

I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird and people who are surprising and good at what they do.

I loved Stephen Wright, and I loved Mitch Hedberg, but they seemed like geniuses you could never emulate. You'd just be ripping them off.

I think the reason I became funny was because if I made people laugh, they would let me keep talking.

I can drink like a fish, or at least, someone born with fetal alcohol syndrome.

The one thing I've found you really can't joke about - and people think it's death or something - is money. No one thinks it's funny, whether you have it or you don't. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about.