When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.

If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments.

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man does not drive, there is something wrong with him.

I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.