When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it

No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.

I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.

Television has a real problem. They have no page two.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.

I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage.