When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even

I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.

No one ever mentioned it, but thousands of men welcomed World War II as a way to escape their humdrum lives rather than a chance to fight for God and country.

... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.

People are broad-minded. They'll accept the fact that a person can be an alcoholic, a dope fiend, a wife beater and even a newspaperman, but if a man does not drive, there is something wrong with him.

I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.