I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week

I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had.

I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.

The things that matter most are not things.