I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.

I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had.

I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me.

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

People who live in glass houses have to wash their windows all the time.

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.