The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.

I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.

Put yourself in Hamlet's shoes. Suppose you were a prince, and you came back from college to discover that your uncle had murdered your father and married your mother, and you fell in love with a beautiful girl and mistakenly murdered her father, and then she went crazy and drowned herself. What would you do? Go back for a masters?

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week

I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had.

There isn't a child who hasn't gone out into the brave new world who eventually doesn't return to the old homestead carrying a bundle of dirty clothes.