I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep.
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.
I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?
I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies
Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.
Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.