I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?

I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.

... I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech.

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies

The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be. Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.

I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.