If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.

The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.

The things that matter most are not things.

I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.

I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.

I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even