I don't know whether this is the best of times or the worst of times, but I assure you it's the only time you've got. You can either sit on your expletive deleted or pick a daisy.

I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page.

The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.

War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing.

Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

I worship the quicksand he [Richard Nixon] walks in.