Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?

I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had.

Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security.

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it.

While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.

The best things in life aren't things.