People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, "I'm getting even
The things that matter most are not things.
Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television?
I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties.
I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.
I earned my stripes as a Marine, and the Corps gets full credit for straightening me out. At 17, I was young, I was unhappy and most of all, I was undisciplined. The Marine Corps was the right service in the right place at the right time.