I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class.

New York was the glamorous town that you only see now in old movies and on Broadway stages. The sky was lit up with dancing neon signs. It was safe to walk out in the streets.

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week