The best things in life aren't things.

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week

Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

New York was the glamorous town that you only see now in old movies and on Broadway stages. The sky was lit up with dancing neon signs. It was safe to walk out in the streets.

The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house.

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it.