As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse.

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

While my friends were discussing Pearl Harbor as the country's problem, I took it personally. It dawned on me that the Japanese attack could be my ticket out of high school.

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water.

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week

I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?

I don't know whether it's normal or not, but sex has always been something that I take seriously. I would put it higher than tennis on my list of constructive things to do.