I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive.

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before.

I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had.

Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

Ascot is so exclusive that it is the only racecourse in the world where the horses own the people.

Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.

As my good friend Al Capp told me a few years ago, the best thing to do with a confirmed [hotel] reservation slip when you have no room is to spread it out on the sidewalk in front of the hotel and go to sleep on it. You'll either embarrass the hotel into giving you a room or you'll be hauled off to the local jug, where at least you'll have a roof over your head.