Ascot is so exclusive that it is the only racecourse in the world where the horses own the people.

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are.

Writing humor in my column isn't as dangerous as performing it. If I fail in front of a live audience, the humiliation is as great as anything a human being can suffer.

Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought.

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team.

Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later.