Liquor - you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

If you demand money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called 'blackmail'. If your lawyer demands money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called a settlement. If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs.

You can always judge a man by what he eats, and therefore a country in which there is no free lunch is no longer a free country.

About a veteran player thrown out trying to steal second: There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out.

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.