Don Quixote's 'Delusions' is an excellent read - far better than my own forthcoming travel book, 'Walking Backwards Across Tuscany.'

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

I couldn't really see the point of having lunch unless it started at 1:00 and ended a week later in Monte Carlo.

I see my large nose, like half an avocado. I broke it falling downstairs when I was six, and it now resembles a large blob of play-dough.

I am 54 and age is slowly writing itself on my face.

After you've read a novel, you only retain a vague memory of its contents. You remember the atmosphere, the odd image or phrase or vivid cameo.

I abhor nothing more than bumping into someone I know on the Tube.