The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's about it.

I am 54 and age is slowly writing itself on my face.

I like doing things I haven't learnt about yet. I've always been interested in art, and I love doing art.

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's going on.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s.