Global warming, the ongoing destruction of the planet, Third World debt, the uselessness of the railways, the takeover by the corporations, the scary George Bush person: all these things are important and should be animating me into outrage. Yet somehow they do not.

I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.

I am 54 and age is slowly writing itself on my face.

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening.

After you've read a novel, you only retain a vague memory of its contents. You remember the atmosphere, the odd image or phrase or vivid cameo.

I couldn't really see the point of having lunch unless it started at 1:00 and ended a week later in Monte Carlo.

Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office.