About every four years, someone says to me, "I've got a friend who looks exactly like you." What can you say to this?

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

Acting is the most demanding, painful job in the world.

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.

Listening to Chris Moyles on Radio 1 is the most miserable thing any human being can do, but attending awards ceremonies isn't far behind.

I couldn't really see the point of having lunch unless it started at 1:00 and ended a week later in Monte Carlo.

The real change that paintings undergo is in the perceptions of the viewer.