The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression.

Listening to Chris Moyles on Radio 1 is the most miserable thing any human being can do, but attending awards ceremonies isn't far behind.

My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's going on.

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist.

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening.

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be.

Every generation of children has its private hero.