I've always tried to maintain that I don't have any advice to give. I'm a curious observer.

We've always been divided by some of these big political issues. It's fine. As long as we treat each other with respect and remember that ultimately, we're all Americans, we'll be fine.

Let's have a moment of silence for all the chubby Asian dudes that are getting 'Gangnam style!' yelled at them by bros around the world.

At the risk bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man is me, smiling and taking partial credit.

I can't think of any bank robbery comedy where it's about two normal guys. It's kind of like Superbad meets Heat, which is a cool combo, and it's just fun doing a normal guy that's robbing a bank.

Do It Under the Influence Yourself! That's what we're shooting for! Get drunk and make your dreams come true.

You should really treat stand-up like you would a play. It's a one-man play.